A glass of

I was watching a movie when I heard someone tell someone else to have a nice tall glass of "shut the f*ck up" and it occurred to me how cool it would be to live in a society where behaviors could be handed out in drinkable form.

"Son, have a nice refreshing glass of 'be responsible and do your homework' with dinner, please," I'd say to one of my boys. "Aw Dad," he would reply, but gulp the beverage down anyways.

Woman: Well okay, I'll do it with you if you drink a glass of 'I'll still respect her in the morning.'
Man: OK.. as long as you drink this cup of 'I will not smother him and destroy his manhood in front of his friends' first.

Bartender: Here's your beer, and a shot of 'I will not drive drunk tonight' to go along with it.

Announcer: We've secretly replaced Gary's regular coffee with a piping hot cup of 'I'll take off my clothes and run through the neighborhood screaming,' let's sit back and watch the fun.

Why the options would be unlimited. The amount of drinks we could have to solve society's problems.. would make any drink executive delirious, the dollar signs virtually tattooed on his/her eyeballs.

And why stop there. I call out for Behavioral Cake too! Sit on down and have yourself a slice of "be nice to strangers" along with your glass of "stop shirking your social responsibilities." You can't go out to play until you finish up. Think of the people with no morals in other countries whose souls are starving!

-Jack Francis

ps - I was going to add in the conclusion that "you can have your Social Darwinism and eat it too," but I ultimately couldn't determine if that conclusion made any sense or not. Sometimes I get so deep with these insightful posts that I confuse myself .