Today's "new feature" is Dream Diary. Oops forgot the font and the color and the centering and stuff, hold on here we go:
DREAM DIARY
Volume 1: Undead Early Abortions Illegal
Volume 1: Undead Early Abortions Illegal
There was a huge party being planned at my cottage, and I was in my teens again, meaning both my folks and all my folks friends were still alive. This means the dream is real, passed on to me by ghosts who enter my subconsciousness at night!
Err no. But anyways back to the dream.
So during the cleanup I'm talking with my friend about how last summer's party sucked because of the zombie outbreak. Then as I am shoveling sand off the sidewalk I notice embedded in the grass something that is kind of rising through the grass, hard to make out. Going very slow. It's a fricking skeletal structure of someone. Two people! With tissue and flesh and such slowly forming on them. But not as people, these suckers are forming into zombies. I am about to smash them with my shovel but suddenly 3 members of the local police are there. They stop me.
Turns out you cannot abort a zombie until it's final formation. For some reason it's referred to as abortion. Some crazy bible thumper passed a law that states while a zombie is forming it is still a life with a soul. Since this zombie was somehow a skeleton forming into a zombie via some sort of tissue regeneration, it was technically alive. We knew it didn't have a soul, it was bones. But the poorly written law didn't take RE-re-animated zombies into account. LOOPHOLES! I hate em.
Bottom line, if I smashed it now I would be a murderer. They take my shovel and throw in the trunk of the squad car as evidence. Why? I tell them they are making no sense and they pull out a clipboard and start talking about certain sections of certain regulations. One of the cops takes my friend and puts him in the back of the squad car because he was drinking underage. That cops disappears from my dream, fate unknown.
So I'm there with 2 cops, and one gets called away. He leaves on foot. I look back to the back of the squad car, my friend isn't there anymore! Some blood is pooled on the back seat. I am convinced a zombie got him. The remaining cop pulls his gun on me and advises me to stay here until we get rid of these two zombies. THEN we can look for my friend.
We're waiting.
Once a zombies stands up, right before it dashes at us, we are THEN allowed under current law to blow it away. That's the rule. The cop is telling me that he voted for the other guy last election, he hates all these new zombie abortion laws. I am trying to remember who that guy was.. I am American and my cottage is in Canada, so I am not up to speed on Canadian politics. Oddly enough neither is he, he isnt sure if it was Trudeau or Putin. I tell him Trudeau was from the 80's and Putin was Russian! Then we are trying to remember what year it is, and he notices he doesn't have any bullets in his gun. We see the bullets in the cop car, the cop car is locked. And I wished my friend was in there to open the door.
The first fully formed zombie had walked up behind me, he taps me on the shoulder, I turn and he says BEEEEEEEEP
My alarm saved me. I am sure the zombie was about to bite into my shoulder.
All in all a cool dream, I don't have cool dreams as often as I used to, so I really appreciated this one.
When I was a troubled youth, I had crazy wild dreams all the time and I was seeing a social worker at school (for other reasons) and she tried to make sense of them (the dreams). Finally she said "you are troubled, sure, but your dreams, I think they just mean you are very creative." For a while she was convinced they meant something deeper.
I think they meant "life sucks and there aint nuttin' on TV, so my brain is going to make up stuff that I would have liked to see on TV." Remember, this was pre Cable TV.
Err no. But anyways back to the dream.
So during the cleanup I'm talking with my friend about how last summer's party sucked because of the zombie outbreak. Then as I am shoveling sand off the sidewalk I notice embedded in the grass something that is kind of rising through the grass, hard to make out. Going very slow. It's a fricking skeletal structure of someone. Two people! With tissue and flesh and such slowly forming on them. But not as people, these suckers are forming into zombies. I am about to smash them with my shovel but suddenly 3 members of the local police are there. They stop me.
Turns out you cannot abort a zombie until it's final formation. For some reason it's referred to as abortion. Some crazy bible thumper passed a law that states while a zombie is forming it is still a life with a soul. Since this zombie was somehow a skeleton forming into a zombie via some sort of tissue regeneration, it was technically alive. We knew it didn't have a soul, it was bones. But the poorly written law didn't take RE-re-animated zombies into account. LOOPHOLES! I hate em.
Bottom line, if I smashed it now I would be a murderer. They take my shovel and throw in the trunk of the squad car as evidence. Why? I tell them they are making no sense and they pull out a clipboard and start talking about certain sections of certain regulations. One of the cops takes my friend and puts him in the back of the squad car because he was drinking underage. That cops disappears from my dream, fate unknown.
So I'm there with 2 cops, and one gets called away. He leaves on foot. I look back to the back of the squad car, my friend isn't there anymore! Some blood is pooled on the back seat. I am convinced a zombie got him. The remaining cop pulls his gun on me and advises me to stay here until we get rid of these two zombies. THEN we can look for my friend.
We're waiting.
Once a zombies stands up, right before it dashes at us, we are THEN allowed under current law to blow it away. That's the rule. The cop is telling me that he voted for the other guy last election, he hates all these new zombie abortion laws. I am trying to remember who that guy was.. I am American and my cottage is in Canada, so I am not up to speed on Canadian politics. Oddly enough neither is he, he isnt sure if it was Trudeau or Putin. I tell him Trudeau was from the 80's and Putin was Russian! Then we are trying to remember what year it is, and he notices he doesn't have any bullets in his gun. We see the bullets in the cop car, the cop car is locked. And I wished my friend was in there to open the door.
The first fully formed zombie had walked up behind me, he taps me on the shoulder, I turn and he says BEEEEEEEEP
My alarm saved me. I am sure the zombie was about to bite into my shoulder.
All in all a cool dream, I don't have cool dreams as often as I used to, so I really appreciated this one.
When I was a troubled youth, I had crazy wild dreams all the time and I was seeing a social worker at school (for other reasons) and she tried to make sense of them (the dreams). Finally she said "you are troubled, sure, but your dreams, I think they just mean you are very creative." For a while she was convinced they meant something deeper.
I think they meant "life sucks and there aint nuttin' on TV, so my brain is going to make up stuff that I would have liked to see on TV." Remember, this was pre Cable TV.
2 comments:
You didn't reveal the most important information about your dream zombies. Were they running zombies or good ol' fashioned shufflin' zombies?
In the dream the Zombie was a Romero Zombie (tm). First it was slowly moving, writhing actually, on the ground as flesh started to congeal on its bones, kind of like that one scene from either Hellraiser or Hellraiser II. Then my attention was elsewhere so I wasn't looking. When the Zombie tapped me on the shoulder it was two quick taps, when I turned it was right in my face and then opened its rancid mouth and the beeeep of the alarm woke me up.
But, my dreams are very careful to leave a lot up to my imagination. In my dreams there is a lot that is implied but not shown. For example the Zombie was way over on the lawn , not out at the street by the cop car. So I didn't "see" it come up behind me. So I don't know how fast it was.
So if you write fan fiction based on this dream, I am going to permit you to decide how fast my zombies are, as long as you can explain it within the parameters of my universe.
As long as I get a cut of the profits, AND all action figure sales.
Post a Comment